Day Two – Juan Zorro

May 21, 2009 by

My Dearest Fans,

I know it’s been a while, and yes, I have been receiving all your fan mail. I am sorry it has been so long since my last post, but I promise the lag time between each post will shorten. I am not one of those “get you popcorn ready,” or “I love me some me” type of athlete. I am one of the people, and I love the people. I know I am just an “Average Joe (Pun intended)” without your support. So let me update my peeps on my progress up-n-dis-BITCH!

Today is day two of the FOX90X workout program, up to this point neither Joe nor I have waivered on our commitment, meaning, A lot of people have already lost money on my tough little bro.

We switched it up a bit; I followed the regimen, as directed by my sensei, Tony. Joe didn’t listen to our sensei’s advice, and he just got dropped kicked like that blond headed thug in the karate kid. I’m so on my game right now I could catch flies with chopsticks. Enough about me, I know you want more, but back to the workout.

Like I stated, I started with the first phase yesterday: arms, shoulders, back, and abs. I actually did better than I thought. I realized a couple of things in the process: (1) I need to up the weight on my arm exercises, and (2) I am not as good at pull-ups as I once was. Also, to complicate matters, that damn thing wouldn’t say on the frame and it kept falling off. After a couple of times of landing on my knees and in one case lacerating them, I stopped the pull-up portion. I am not making an excuse here, but I am not as good on my knees as my fine brother is.

Anyways, I am going to rig my pull-up bar by adding a 1×4 on the horizontal face, attaching it via couplings, and I am going to install an addition piece of trim on the door header to ensure the bar catches. I will do this tomorrow in fact. I was pooped after the workout, but I didn’t feel the jelly arms like I did in off-season football training. I must admit, it was a hell of a workout, but by all means achievable by any able body man or women.

This morning I awoke to the aroma of coffee, it was nice. I am now supplementing my usual half-and-half with soymilk, and I must admit, it may become a permanent change. I then read young Joe’s blog and saw how he struggled with the “Plyometrics” workout the night before. It made me a little nervous, I must admit, but I new I had a head start on young Joe because of my “Biggest Loser” training. Also, if there is one workout that I excel at it is those that involve my legs.

So I got geeked, went upstairs and put on my ultra-revealing shorts (That’s for my lady fans). I decided not to wear a shirt and shoes for that matter. I don’t know why, but I did. It was rather liberating. The workout was tough, but not unbearable by any means. I was able to complete the whole gamut of exercised, but I did cheat a little sometimes by not going down into a complete squat position all the time. I didn’t want to spend myself too much the first go around, because I wanted to see if I could do it – and of course, I succeeded.

Anyway, I wanted to give a shout out to Joe. Joe, don’t be discouraged, remember I had a head-start, and the purpose of this is not to beat one another, but to finish it, and the bi-product will therefore be a great body, like we once had. Fight through it, and never give up. The object is to improve each time. All you need to do it show improvement and the rest will follow.


I Struggled, And I Will Be Honest With My Fans

May 20, 2009 by

As we’ve spoke, this is simplygoing to be truth. Unlike some who seem to be rooting for Allen.

Most said I’d lie. I’m not.

As I’ve later been told, I started Plyometrics. The hardest of the DVD’s. On top of that I haven’t worked out in 1 1/2 years and rather than train the past few weeks, I just drank a lot. Figuring I’d have to slow down.

At 32 min’s in I found I had to stop. Yes, those of you against me, call me a quitter, I am okay with that. However, I simply couldn’t go on. The main reason was I was starting to get very dizzy and thought I would pass out.

I lay down, and against Aaron’s hopes managed to hold down the vomit. I was very nausous for the next 40 min’s.

The surprising part is my past work out routines were running and biking for much longer than 30 minutes and I’ve never been as sore as I am right now. I couldn’t do the standing stretches because my one particular leg I at the time was on was shaking too much.

If I’ve disappointed a fan I am truly sorry.

I WANT to be EXTREMELY sore tomorrow. I want to know the shaking muscles I feel (including my back, which is weird ’cause there we no back excercises) are in pain from the X work out.

As I originally felt like a quitter I actually feel okay about myself right now. Because I realize I am completely out of shape and although I will not take this thing slow, I realize that this could take a week or two of adjustment from college student to being completely and totally f*cking ripped!!!

So Joe-Haters go ahead and post I’m a failure. I will fly to any one of your houses (those of you as out of shape as I) and watch you try this particular hour long workout.

Weights tomorrow people, I will do my absolute best, and that is a personal guarantee.

To optimism and honesty, a Fox family tradition.

The Rooms

May 19, 2009 by

Uh, he started today and I’m scared. He’s halfway through, and is sweating profusely. Not to mention he’s in 100% better shape than me. Unfortunately, I can hear him doing it. It sounds like a porn star right before the money shot mixed with Vietnamese torture audio.

Zach and Aaron

Zach/Aaron, I am going to have to take a militaristic attitude towards this. However, I recommend you watch your back for coming up with this.

Bad Ass

May 17, 2009 by

Goin’Rippin' it

Ze Nips that all want to see:


Post Game


Pull Ups

May 12, 2009 by

They are harder than they used to be.

The Westside…

May 10, 2009 by

…Is the best side

The Beginning

Joe needs more votes! Vote for Joe. Not this loser:


King Soloman

May 10, 2009 by

He will be watching us at all times…


If we fail, he will attack…


Greg. If anything should happen. Make it quick.

Get To Know The Fox Boys

May 10, 2009 by

Please “get to know” the Foxes with a brief summary of their life (hard to do…the adventures would be documented for thousands of pages) along with analysis in a Q & A portion created by a Mr. Aaron Clark.

Toast to Ze Fox

A Post From Allen!

May 9, 2009 by

My Dearest Fans,

I hope all is going well in your glorious lives.  As I am sure you are currently reading the blog, so I wanted to make sure I updated you on my progress, in addition to my current state. 

Today, I went to Target and it was nice; I bought some health foods, weights, and yes, a workout video.  I thought I might as well get a head start to ensure my dominance in the competition.  This should make those of you who voted for me especially warm in your gentle sweet hearts. 

Anyways, like I said, I bought a workout video, as most of them were tailored towards women focusing on workouts such as palates and yoga, I decided on a video that most emulated the P90X.  That video was “The Biggest Loser.”  I know it’s very ironic considering I am “The Biggest Winner.”

Be it that I am a Fox, I skipped ahead to week three; also know as “cardio max.”  It starts-off with a run-of-the-mill gym class type workout, with workouts such as (But not limited to) jumping-jacks, lunges, jump-rope, etc.  The warm-up last 10 minutes,

That is followed by a more intense 20 minute workout that includes weight with various different workout and positions. From there it is 10 minutes of strictly cardio and then a 10 minute yoga cool down session.  In all, it’s a 50 minute workout, and I must admit, I sweated like a whore in church or Joe in a sobriety class. 

Ok fans, this is where I need you help.  I hurt my left glut; also know as my best “ass”set.  It’s pretty tight, it is very painful to walk up stairs or bend down.  So I need some recommendations on how to treat a muscle strain in the glut area; in addition, I need some suggestions on stretches that I can utilize pre-workout to help minimize the pain moving forward.

Whether it’s ice packs, heats packs, or a rub down, and I am not talking about the “rub-and-tug variety here”.   Any help on this matter would be greatly appreciated.  Well, I am headed off to watch the Mavs get destroyed my Nuggets.  It was good talking to you, and I love you all.

Your Hero,

Juan Zorro

P.S. I would like to extend my congratulations to John Mark and his better half Mellissa for getting engaged last night.  Skoll (Cheers)!

Current status

May 8, 2009 by

Allen is drinking scotch and playing Tiger Woods golf.

Joe is drinking wine and watching Goldfinger.

Obviously, a sign of two true competitors in the making.

Bond is pulling a fast one on a gal in Switzerland. Reminds me of ’07. If you have the chance to go; it’s beautiful.